A frosty ice-storm, and, emerging from it, Sverre Kjelsberg making noises like a big Christmas single cross-bred with an American TV detective show. But then the lights go down and the stage is invaded by joiking Sami Mattis Hætta and a completely different song. Altogether now...

The interstitial bed music in 2013 culminated in a low bass stab which we occasionally mistook for an exciting opening to a song. It is probably fair to say that the vast majority of that year's entries did not live up to this false start. Norway were the emphatic exception: they made their entrance in style, and the whole audience woke up with a start and a cheer as the woofers exploded in a volley of grinding synth-bass. Margaret Berger, all curves in a skin-tight white dress, pulls us up the barrel of a Walther PPK for what is a decidedly Bond-ish verse, were The Knife to do a Bond theme. Then the chorus folds open in a flurry of mechanical orchestra hits that put us in mind of Greece's SAGAPO from 2002 (but slinkier and with less sense of lumbar pain). Few went bigger in the hall than this in 2013, and for all its power there is also an endearing cuteness to Berger's performance.

It's a bold step to enter a song called "Do Re Mi", especially given that Greece surely had the final word on that back in 1977. But here's Jahn Teigen and his quartet of "lovely ladies of Swedish persuasion" (or so Tel reckoned) — including wife / Eurovision legend Anita Skorgan (in a less awful outfit than the rest) — to give it a go. It's the epitome of '80s cutsiness: all rah-rah skirts and snooker referee gloves. Teigen and Skorgan even kiss at one point. Diabetics, stand by your medicine.

A woman with an implement, and she's playing it in quintuple time which means it sounds a bit like Brubeck as anything in quintuple time does, except unlike Brubeck she's sticking to quintuple time throughout, which is nice. In the mid '60s, Eurovision dabbled with jazz, and stuff like this popped out: all angular with moody chords. Nice.

It's like a cross between a Carry On theme and something from "The Bathrooms Are Coming"... Tbe verse and the chorus don't seem especially related, but thankfully there's a ridiculously drumtastic samba bridge to another little bridge that's basically "Puppet on a String" but we're not there for long cos then we're back going "Oj oj oj" for the rest of the song (with key-changes and skronk to keep us entertainined), and who, frankly, could want more than that?

Odd Børre is a great name, isn't it? Anyway, he's something of an Austin Powers template, singing a suitably swinging song. It's basically "Oj oj oj" but if "Oj oj oj" were about stress rather than happiness. Plus it's got one of those cheeky little cuts to camera 2 at the end of the chorus where you can't help but point and cock an eyebrow.

Norway successfully recaptured the folksy sleigh-bell sound of the early Scandinavian entries and distilled it into the beautiful "Småting" sung by a duo looking indistinguishable from Jenny Agutter (as Hedda Gabler) and Jim Broadbent. It probably helps that "Småting" sounds like it might be a bit rude, but there can be no denying that this sweet little snowball will stay with you wherever you go and that you won't really mind that it does.

One of the most profoundly '80s performances of 1985, it's an energetic, swinging retro affair and has proven itself to be rather more memorable than the songs we ranked above it. One might accurately describe it as "King of the Fjord".

Embracing the new Europe of 1990, Norway gave us "Brandenburger Tor" (which rhymes with L.A. Law) sung by Ketil Stokkan (a cross between Michael Schumacher and John Lithgow). Nothing about it should be any good at all, and yet it has an amazingly endearing chorus that is difficult to put down. A quiet rendition near the end is followed by a build up that should in an ideal world go on building for another hour or so. If you want to wave your lighter, there are few more appropriate locations than here. Europe disagreed and it came joint-last.

In the magical year that was 1977, Norway gave us the adorable Anita Skorgan and the fantastic "Casanova". From the ELO-like introduction alone it is clear that we are on strong ground; that it goes into Olivia Newton John territory (proper OLN, not that abomination she sang in Eurovision in 1974) just adds to the excitement: a wonderfully twee number with a head-swaying chorus and the faintest aroma of wakka-wakka guitar. The cartoonish bridge from the verse to the chorus is particularly fetching. Like Skorgan, you'll want to let out a little yelp of excitement.