R.B.3
   3
A / V   W O M A N   &
A V I E W

S E P T E M B E R    2 0 0 6

1
SERIAL NO.

IM  448199

IVAN METHUSELAH'S
DIGI-BOX RATION BOOK

=CONCLUSION=
August - September 2006

A note on scoring: 
Perennial weekly non-current affairs programming is not exempt from scoring, simply as a way to let Popworld in the charts. There's no contest between Ivan's selections and other telly, and he can rate repeats of programmes he's seen before without having to watch them again (the grey entries), though he can't rate a repeat of a programme he rated the week before, and he can only rate repeats on digital-only channels if he recommends them. For films, he can't rate any film that he has already rated in the run.

Below a bar at the bottom of each chart is a list of programmes that Ivan has taped during the run of the experiment, but hasn't watched yet. As he gets round to looking at them, they will be processed into the scores of their broadcast week.

Ivan scores the best programmes as "Keepers & Classics" (3pts), "Jolly Good" (2pts) and "Pretty Good" (1pt), with a running total of each per week. Anything considered "Missable" or lower is not scored. The results are divided into TV, Radio and Film, with the red figure being the sum.

Ivan also calculates the best performing channels of the week. TV channels have a deliberate points advantage. B = BBC, R = BBC Radio, C = Channel, I = ITV. 

=SCORECARD=

Week 01
Week 02
Week 03
Week 04
Week 05
TOTALISER
10
2
15
27
8
2
19
29
7
1
10
18
5
1
13
19
15
4
6
25
F4, 29
B2, 18
B4, 12
C4, 11
I3, 11
I4, 09
R4, 06
C5, 05
B3, 05
R3, 04
M4, 02
I2, 02
I1, 02
E4, 01
F4, 09
B2, 04
I3, 03
R3, 02
M4, 02
C4, 02
I2, 02
B4, 02
C5, 01
-
-
I4, 06
F4, 05
C4, 04
B4, 04
R3, 02
I3, 02
I1, 02
B2, 01
E4, 01
I2, 01
C5, 01
F4, 07
B4, 04
C5, 02
I3, 02
R4, 01
B2, 01
C4, 01
-
-
-
-
F4, 06
B2, 05
C4, 03
I3, 02
R4, 01
I4, 01
B3, 01
-
-
-
-
B2, 07
R4, 04
B3, 04
B4, 02
I4, 02
F4, 02
I3, 02
C5, 01
C4, 01
-
-

 
This year we're just doing five-week runs, aiming to catch the change-overs of programming that occur at the half-way point between major festivals. We've had some success in that regard, with a few series ending and beginning. TV averaged 9pts per week, which is down 1pt on the last run and 4pts on this time last year -- that's not very good. Radio is half what it was on the previous run: stuck on 2pts, thanks to Just a Minute. Film averaged 13, almost double the pre-Film4 mean. The overall average of 24pts was, thanks to the films, down only a point on this time last year, and up on the July run.

The Autumn schedules began to kick in during this run: the new series of Extras replaced a repeat run; a third series of Who Do You Think You Are? gained promotion to BBC1. This time last year, B4 was concluding its Heimat retrospective; this year we were treated to I Claudius and Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy. The return of Family Guy, this week, helped give TV its first win over film since Film4 arrived. With the return of Arrested Development next week, it seems a good time for comedy at the moment.

In the medium of radio, we've fallen between the end of the Proms and the start of the News Quiz. But at least we avoided Quote...Unquote. Listen Again increasingly tugs the bellropes of doom for conventional radio listening. How often have I not been bothered to listen to something live because I could Listen Again, only to never get round to it?

The big change for this run was, as already maypoled, the arrival of Film4 to our digiboxes. To accurately measure its usefulness, we banned repeat showings, but even with that rule in operation, F4 still managed to get the top score in three of the five weeks. Indeed, it was only in this last week that film failed to dominate over radio and television. Was this a patchy week, or an indicator of the path to come? Tune in this winter to find out.

So, film is up; radio and telly are down on the last rationbook. Let's take a look, then, at this run's standings; channel by channel:
 

POSITION
CHANNEL
TOTAL PTS
AV. PTS/WK
AV. PTS SEP'05
1 (NE)
Film4
29 (+29)
6
-
2 (7)
BBC 2
18 (+11)
4
3
3 (2)
BBC 4
12 (-2)
2
7
=4 (=14)
Channel 4
11 (+10)
2
5
=4 (3)
ITV 3
11 (-2)
2
1
6 (=14)
ITV 4
9 (+8)
2
-
7 (8)
Radio 4
6 (=)
1
1
=8 (=4)
Five
5 (-4)
1
-
=8 (=4)
BBC 3
5 (-4)
1
1
10 (=12)
Radio 3
4 (+2)
1
0
=11 (9)
ITV 1
2 (-3)
0
2
=11 (=10)
ITV 2
2 (-1)
0
0
=11 (=12)
More 4
2 (=)
0
-
14 (=10)
E 4
1 (-2)
0
-

The biggest changes are up at the top: F4 has made a dramatic mark in its first month, but will probably struggle to keep it up; B2 has now firmly recovered from the drop it sustained in the March run, and C4 too is looking undoubtedly refreshed. There's an irony there, as much of the industry has been looking at C4's latest (post-BB) figures with some disdain. For me, C4 has improved drastically since its dismal summer, finding some half decent docs and even the odd bit of comedy. But arch-nemesis B2 has maintained the upper hand in the relationship, thanks mainly to some above-average comedy.

I4 was the other winner this run, mainly through its selection of cinematic offering. But I3 continues to be the jewel in the ITV crown with its Granada Gold line-up. Much has been written over recent months regards the demise of ITV, and certainly its shop window, I1, has haemorrhaged another three points this time round. B1 is soundly winning the light ents war, not least with its biggest gun yet: How Do You Solve a Problem Like Maria?. Cue How Do You Solve a Problem Like the ITV's Diminishing Market Share And Resultant Knock-on Effects on Advertising Charges? headlines. The answer, it seems to me, is to stop flogging dead horses and second-hand concepts, and to stop treating us like idiots. Alas, ITV will continue pandering to the Heat denominator. For now, they can try to stave off total death with a timely deployment of Ant & Dec, but even they can only do so much. The powers of LWT grow weak. When was the last time we saw a truly epic Saturday night gameshow? It seems to me that that is the alchemic design from which to start. Perhaps consider commissioning Chatsworth for something. Avoid Gladiatorial padding, though. The glitter and sparkle of romping gameshows like Price is Right and 3-2-1 is sorely missed. But talent shows demonstrate that our modern attention spans are not as limited as once assumed. Still, at the end of the day, glittering prizes are not really my thing. 

Still in the race for AOTV, after ten long years, are C5. Yes, it's a decade since Tim Vine and the Spice Girls first interfered with our video signals. C5 would desperately like to supplant ITV, but in most peoples' eyes this has not and probably will not happen. Because in most peoples' eyes, C5 is just an unpressed button. The alienation began with the messing with videos and the far from 100% broadcast range. The watermark only served to annoy the nation, too, and the early programming was largely tacky and cheap (even great programming like Twin Peaks was old and imported). But C5's stripped schedule was unfairly derided, and led ultimately to the News at 10 war. Five's own news delivery has caused untold chaos to the leg veins of news anchors across Britain. And in addition to vertical news presentation, C5 also contributed a good half of the origins of Graham Norton as a LE deity. Teatime quizzery came in the form of proto-Millionaire 100% and a shortlived revival of Going for Gold. But here is a consecutive list of five essential pieces of C5 programming for which we truly need to be thankful: 

Sunset Beach
Every generation should have its American Soap. For the C5 generation it was Sunny B. If only for half the cast turning into mummies, it was genius stuff; at the peak of its powers, when continuity announcers had free rein over the closing titles, it had a teatime repeat and a student union tour. Ultimately, the soap turned boring and was axed. An attempt to replace it with the equally batty Days of Our Lives failed, because by then the moment had passed.

The Mole
Of all C5's output, this is the best by far. But it came at a time when C5 was a laughing stock, and when elimination-based reality gameshows were considered a continental annoyance. Consequently, this was watched by about 12 people. For the rest of you: n unsuspecting MOPs who applied to be in some reality show find themselves packed off to a hotel. They must perform tasks to build up an ultimate prize fund. But one of them is a mole who will endeavour to balls the tasks up as best he or she can without making it too obvious. At the end of each day, the contestants answer a computer questionnaire on the identity of the mole (What colour is the mole's hair? etc), and the one furthest off the mark is thrown out. The programme was supported by an online forum inwhich to discuss potential clues dotted through the programme (for instance the first letter of the first word said in each ep of the first series spelt out the identity). The tasks were real Chatsworth stuff... Crystal Maze / Treasure Hunt etc. The second series was even more complicated, on account of the fact that there'd already been a first series. Contestants would deliberately cock up so as to fool other contestants. It was a fascinating watch, and undoubtedly the best example of the genre. It is ripe for a revival.

Angel
The Buffy spin-off initially went to C4 who abused it terribly and cost the show much of its potential audience. Angel then became a cult item and ended up in the midnight schedule of C5. They looked after it there. But there's still a last series that is yet to reach us. My fingers are crossed, which makes typing hard.

Poker
C5's poker output has been patchy at best. And recently there has been far too much of it. But Five at least kept TV Poker alive during a period when C4 was only interested in locking vain people in houses for two months. If five can just resist the temptation to constantly show poker... just stick it on twice a year... 

House
Now, Five's jewel consists of Hugh Laurie limping about a hospital putting on an American accent. And very entertaining it is too.

C5 was misguided in trying to emulate ITV. It does a much better impression of C4, and seems to get more success out of it. It's no doubt still kicking itself about having missed the boat on Big Brother (and even The Simpsons), but it'd only've ended up like The Mole and that thing they did with the prison. Promotion has always been Five's biggest weakness. But the more channels we get, the leveller the playing field.

Thanks for reading. I'll be back on 27th October for the final run of the year. See you then.

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