Ivan Methuselah's Christmas Box
~ Ho ho and thrice ho. ~

How to Use this Guide:

Each day is presented in a different colour for easy identification.

Boxed entries are those programmed by Ivan for your delectation.

Side-stripes indicate the varieties of broadcasting: analogue TV, analogue radio, and digital. They also indicate the length of a programme.

There are none of the restrictions of the Ration Book, so occasionally there are clashes of programming, which you alone must negotiate. Ivan has left suggested trails through the multichannel jungle, but it is up to you to select the best path.

Ivan also proffers hammocking programming for the habitually prone. This allows you to stay in front of your telly for all your waking hours. Ivan takes no responsibility for any ill health caused through this lack of lifestyle.

In a change to previous years, tinted entries now represent Ivan's "line of best fit" through the Christmas period: the route that will take in the most of the best programming, though not necessarily at the most convenient times. Duplication is kept to a minimum.

Where applicable, films are scored out of 5. Only films scoring 2 or more points are (obligatorily) entered into the grid.

Now trace your route through the Christmas schedules and enjoy. 

Happy Viewing.

Sat 20th / Sun 21st / Mon 22nd / Tue 23rd / Wed 24th / Thu 25th / Fri 26th /
Sat 27th / Sun 28th / Mon 29th / Tue 30th / Wed 31st / Thu 1st / Fri 2nd

Test Match Special
BBC Radio 4 LW / 5 Live Sports Extra / BBCi;
Saturday 20th; 0330-1102
Coverage of the second day of the second test, now starting earlier than billed in the RT. What better way to begin what promises to be a magical repeat-filled Christmas, like all Christmasses should be. Although this year the repeats are of a different sort...
  

Hammock with Doctor Who - The Infinite Quest, a cartoon version of the Doctor, on B2,1100-1150, and then Tim Burton's The Nightmare Before Christmas (B2, 1150-1300). At 1300, turn to R3 for The Early Music Show, taking us through to 1400.


Snooker
BBCi; Saturday 20th; 1400+
The second semi-final of the UK Championship.
BBC1 joins from 1430-1630, and then BBC2 from 1630-1700.


The Sarah Jane Adventures
CBBC; Saturday 20th; 1700-1730
The last in the series.

Hammock with iPM on Radio 4, 1730-1800, then The Price of Fear, half an hour of Vincent Price introduced horror on BBC7 from 1800-1830. 
A CHOICE OF VIEWING
Catch the first ten minutes of Channel 4 News before switching over to:
Channel 4 News
Channel 4; Saturday 20th; 1830-1855
Strictly Come Dancing
BBC One; Saturday 20th; 1840-1955
It is the final. Who will win? My money is on Cookie the Cat.

Snooker
BBCi / BBC Two; Saturday 20th; 1900+
The final session of the second semi-final. B2 broadcasts from 1900-2110. But in the interests of space, I am recommending you leave the coverage at 2055.
The Archive Hour:
Home-Recorded Voices
BBC Radio 4; Saturday 20th; 2000-2100
An attic-raid of late-'50s home reel-to-reel recordings.
 Selected Radiophonic Works
BBC Radio 7; Saturday 20th; 2000-2300
An exploration of the BBC Radiophonic Workshop, incorporating a programme of works:
The Dreams (1964)
The Goons (1959)
Inferno Revisited (1983)
Relativity (1974)
Electric Tunesmiths (1971)
Bath Time (1976)

(one for the iPlayer, methinks)
Strictly Come Dancing
BBC One; Saturday 20th; 2100-2145
The results have been counted. The winner is Socks.
 FILM: Gremlins
Joe Dante, 1984; 2pts
ITV 2; Saturday 20th; 2055-2300
No Christmas is truly complete without a mogwai.
Hammock with Have I Got a Bit More News For You on B2.
If, like myself and Evan Paris, you were at this year's Huddersfield Contemporary Music Festival, then you've no need to listen to the first episode of five weeks of highlights in Hear and Now, R3, 2230-0000. So instead you can watch:
FILM: V for Vendetta
James McTeigue, 2005
BBC Two; Saturday 20th; 2225-0025
Less than kosher adaptation of Alan Moore's graphic novel. What better way to get into the festive spirit than with a Bonfire-night film.

(I've picked this cos it's a Premier)
A SECONDARY CHOICE
Hammock with World Today and Instant Guide on BBC World Service.
 FILM: A History of Violence
David Cronenberg, 2005; 2pts
Film4; Saturday 20th; 2250-0040
Following my already a little chaotic schema, you'll miss the first ten minutes of this. You should just about get by, though. Viggo Mortensen stars as Marty McFly. Or is he?
Repeated on Boxing Day.
FILM: Snake Eyes
Brian De Palma, 1998; 2pts
BBC One; Saturday 20th; 2340-0120
Pretty De Palma number starring Nicolas Cage and a casino.
Watch Never Mind the Buzzcocks until 0040, and then switch over to Film4 for Offside →

FILM: Offside
Jafar Panahi, 2006
Film4; Sunday 21st; 0040-0225
Acclaimed Iranian film about a group of women trying to get into a football match.
Repeated Wednesday morning.

Go to bed.
Test Match Special
BBC Radio 4 LW / 5 Live Sports Extra / BBCi;
Sunday 21st; 0350-1102
Coverage of the third day of the second test. We may well have lost by now.
    
Hammock with the World Service.

SUNDAY LUNCHTIME ON RADIO 4

News
BBC Radio 4; Sunday 21st; 1200-1204

The Unbelievable Truth Christmas Special
BBC Radio 4; Sunday 21st; 1204-1230
David Mitchell is joined by Jack Dee, Graeme Garden, Armando Inannucci and Sean Lock.
Repeated from Monday.

The Food Programme
BBC Radio 4; Sunday 21st; 1230-1300
Sheila dillon goes in search of forgotten Christmas meals.

The World This Weekend
BBC Radio 4; Sunday 21st; 1300-1330
With Shaun Ley.

You could stick with R4 until 1445. Then graze on 4Music for fifteen heart-stopping minutes.


A CHOICE OF VIEWING

Snooker
BBC Two; Sunday 21st; 1500-1820
The opening session of the UK Championship final.
 Watch the Snooker until 1705.

FILM: Watership Down
Martin Rosen, 1978; 5pts
Film4; Monday 21st; 1705-1850
Clearly an Easter film, but it's hard to complain. Tear-jerking post-apocalyptic thriller in which an epileptic sooth-sayer leads a disparate displaced community on a desperate quest to repopulate their new society. The only solution is to infiltrate and destroy a rival community and steal their womenfolk. Gripping, terrifying stuff, and all done with rabbits.

Repeated next Tuesday.

Switch over for Top Gear or stay with Film4 for A Matter of Life and Death.
ANOTHER CHOICE (NOT MUCH OF ONE)
Hammock with 4Music, then turn to Film4 for A Matter of Life and Death → SUNDAY EVENING ON BBC2

Dad's Army
BBC Two; Sunday 21st; 1820-1900
My Brother and I.

Top Gear
BBC Two; Sunday 21st; 1900-2000
Cocky car craziness (hark at me alliterating like that Arlene Phillips woman), but be warned: it's a repeat of last week's episode. If that idea depresses you, there's some Bach and a doc about Allegri's Miserere on BBC4.

FILM: A Matter of Life and Death
Powell & Pressburger, 1946; 3pts
Film4; Monday 21st; 1850-2055
David Niven gets his in Powell & Pressburger's popular zombie romance.

Repeated next Saturday.
ANOTHER
Drama on 3:
The Cherry Orchard
BBC Radio 3; Sunday 21st; 2000-2200
Sarah Miles and Nicholas Le Prevost star in Peter Kavanagh's dramatisation of Chekhov.

(maybe get it on the iPlayer)
 Snooker
BBC Two; Sunday 21st; 2000-2300+
The concluding session of the UK Championship final.
Watch the end of the Snooker.
Watch the end of the Snooker.
AND ANOTHER
Hammock with 4Music until 1130, or watch the second repeat of Have I Got News For You on B2. Then resort to The Record: Europe on BBC Parliament to take you through to midnight. Father Ted
More4; Sunday 21st; 2305-0015
A Christmassy Ted. Fast becoming the new Morecambe & Wise. It's repeated on C4 tomorrow, and again on M4 on Wednesday.
 		Hammock with 4Music until 1130, or watch the second repeat of Have I Got News For You on B2. Then get yourself some supper.
The Devil's Christmas
Ep.1/4
BBC Radio 2; Monday 22nd; 0000-0018
In a seasonal piece of repetition, Christopher Eccleston reads The Signalman.

(iPlayer?)
 FILM: All About My Mother
Pedro Almodóvar, 1999
Film4; Sunday 21st; 2340-0120
Almodóvar number.
Repeated in the early hours of Saturday, and again in the early hours of Friday 2nd.
Now sleep.
Test Match Special
BBC Radio 4 LW / 5 Live Sports Extra / BBCi;
Monday 22nd; 0350-1102
Coverage of the fourth day of the second test.



   

Hammock with Carry on Doctor on More4, bearing in mind that it is billed to finish at 1305, and hoping that the adverts start at 1300.


FILM: All About Eve
Joseph L Mankiewicz, 1950; 3pts
Film4,  Monday 22nd; 1300-1540
Sumptuously bitchy backstage shenanigans with Bette Davis and her protégée. Something of a Film4 favourite, and the second showing this month. Makes an ideal partner to All About My Mother. They're not totally stupid at F4, even if they do have the memory of a goldfish.

Watch Pingu on CBeebies, and stick around for a Boogie Beebies dance lesson. Then turn to Radio 5 for an hour of Drive.
Paradise Lost: Milton Season
Ep.1/12
BBC Radio 3; Monday 22nd; 1700-1750
Anton Lesser sets forth on an unabridged reading of Paradise Lost. Today, Book I: Satan has a fall.

Listen to some more of Drive, or the Six o'Clock News on R4 if you're bad at remembering to turn over.

Genius Christmas Special
BBC Radio 4; Monday 22nd; 1830-1900
Dave Gorman is joined by Lee Mack.
Repeated Sunday.


Channel 4 News
Channel 4; Monday 22nd; 1900-1955
Followed by an old Three-Minute Wonder.
A CHOICE MADE LESS TROUBLESOME BY iPLAYER
The Things We Forgot to Remember
BBC Radio 4; Monday 22nd; 2000-2030
In the last of the current series, Portillo considers King Alfred's legacy beyond the kitchen.
(iPlayer)
 University Challenge
BBC Two; Monday 22nd; 2000-2030
Brighton v "City".
SO MUCH CHOICE
Hammock with Robert Peston on Panorama, BBC1. FILM: The Brothers Grimm
Terry Gilliam, 2005
BBC Two; Monday 22nd; 2030-2220
Matt Damon and Heath Ledger are the titular fraternity in this Terry Gilliam place-holder.
QI Christmas Special
BBC One; Monday 22nd; 2100-2130
Fry and Davies are augmented by Rob Brydon, Clive Anderson and Dom Jolly. Hardly a dream package. Curiously on BBC One.
Repeated on B2 at 10pm next Tuesday, and again on Friday 2nd.
Hammock with the shortened repeat of Start the Week on R4.
Father Ted
Channel 4; Monday 22nd; 2200-2315
A Christmassy Ted. You can have another crack at it on M4 on Wednesday.
Avail yourself of some supper...

Crooked House
Ep.1/3
BBC Four; Monday 22nd; 2230-2300
Mark Gatiss Hammers home his position as BBC Victoriana correspondent with this three-parter. Why is there more horror on at Christmas than at Halloween?
Crooked House is well repeated, including an Omnibus next Saturday.



Tune in to World Today on the World Service and stick with it till 2330.
MONDAY NIGHT ON RADIO 2

In Dreams - the Roy Orbison Story
BBC Radio 2; Monday 22nd; 2330-0000
The last episode charts a course through the 1980s.

The Devil's Christmas
Ep.2/4
BBC Radio 2; Tuesday 23rd; 0000-0018
Guy de Maupassant's The Necklace.


Listen to the end of the News on R4.


TUESDAY MORNING ON BBC4

I'm Sorry I Haven't a Clue
BBC Four; Tuesday 23rd; 0030-0100
Filmed this year and repeating quietly into the night.

Crooked House
Ep.1/3
BBC Four; Tuesday 23rd; 0100-0130
Repeated from earlier. If you've already watched this, hammock with the World Service.

A View From A Hill
BBC Four; Tuesday 23rd; 0130-0210
The annual MR James fix slides casually into being.
Signed version at 0345-0425.


I'm Alan Partridge
Dave; Tuesday 23rd; 0215-0245
Be warned though: It's signed.
Follow with a satisfying hour's sleep.
Test Match Special
BBC Radio 4 LW / 5 Live Sports Extra / BBCi;
Tuesday 23rd; 0350-1102
The final day's play of the second test.
  

Get a sandwich, then watch Cary Grant in I Was A Male Warbride, More4, 1115-1310.
Then graze on Phil Williams standing in for Mayo on R5, for want of anything better. Stick with R5 for the first hour or so of Drive.

A CHOICE YOUR DVD COLLECTION  REALLY OUGHT TO SOLVE

Paradise Lost: Milton Season
Ep.2/12
BBC Radio 3; Tuesday 23rd; 1700-1750
Satan convenes his war cabinet.
 FILM: Black Narcissus
Powell & Pressburger, 1946; 5pts
Film4; Tuesday 23rd; 1710-1910
Nuns on heat. One of the greatest films ever made, and now something of a Film4 regular. It's repeated in the early hours of next Monday.

Listen to Drive on R5, then watch Channel 4 News.

Watch the remainder Channel 4 News, then put up with the unrelenting vacillation of the Who Wants to Be a Millionaire Christmas Special on ITV1, 2000-2100.

Rab C Nesbitt
BBC Two; Tuesday 23rd; 2100-2145
Probably dreadful return to the '90s sitcom that gave us David Tennant as a barmaid if nothing else.
Repeated on Friday 2nd.

The end of Newshour on the World Service takes us to 2200 when we can flick to BBC7 for The Shuttleworths' 2002 Christmas Special.

A DIGITAL CHOICE

The Mark Steel Revolution
BBC Radio 7; Tuesday 23rd; 2230-2300
The final episode: The Evolution of Man.
 Crooked House
Ep.2/3
BBC Four; Tuesday 23rd; 2230-2300
The second installment on the Crooked mortgage.

Last Days of Steam on B4 takes us to midnight.
The Devil's Christmas
Ep.3/4
BBC Radio 2; Wednesday 24th; 0000-0018
John Kendrick Bangs' Thurlow's Christmas Story.


A CHOICE DETERMINED BY EARLIER CONDUCT

If you listened to Mark Steel, hang around the Late Junction with Verity Sharp on R3. If you watched Crooked House earlier, watch Ian McKellen as an old Nazi in Bryan Singer's Apt Pupil, 5US, 0020-0220.

Crooked House
Ep.2/3
BBC Four; Wednesday 24th; 0100-0130
Repeated from earlier.
A SECONDARY CHOICE
FILM: Offside
Jafar Panahi, 2006
Film4; Wednesday 24th; 0135-0325
A second chance to see this acclaimed Iranian film about a group of women trying to get into a football match.
 The Signalman
BBC Four; Wednesday 24th; 0130-0210
Denholm Elliott is troubled by spirits, just like he is every year. He's also suffering again on BBC 2 on Boxing Day.
 And now, ad-breaks allowing, you can switch quickly to Dave for Alan Partridge ←
I'm Alan Partridge
Dave; Wednesday 24th; 0215-0245
Alan is invited to Lynn's baptism, causing a man to gesture in front of the picture.
Mahler 8 is on Through the Night on Radio 3, 0241-0400. If you want to hear Mark Steel, leave Mahler at 0330 and tune to BBC7. Whatever you do you should be thinking about sleeping at 4am.
Today
BBC Radio 4; Wednesday 24th; 0600-0900
Humphrys and Montague.
  
Victoria Derbyshire on R5 will see you through to The Midday News on R5; or there's a selection of train-related programmes stolen from BBC4 chuffing their way across the morning's schedule on BBC2. The World at One on R4 at 1pm is followed by The Media Show, and then you can get a sandwich while The Archers is on (1400-1415).


Afternoon Play: Christmas Eve
BBC Radio 4; Wednesday 24th; 1415-1500
A dramatisation of a Gogol short.


Robert Zemeckis's animated choo-choo The Polar Express fills a nice gap nicely.
ANOTHER EXAMPLE OF FREE WILL
Get something to eat, perhaps while listening to Drive on R5.
FILM: Scrooge
Brian Desmond-Hurst, 1951; 2pts
Five; Wednesday 24th; 1650-1830
Coloured-in version of the Alastair Sim carol.
Paradise Lost: Milton Season
Ep.3/12
BBC Radio 3; Wednesday 24th; 1700-1750
Satan hatches his plot.

(iPlay it; ensuring of course that it is there; as one must trouble to do; for one can never be entirely sure; but it probably is...)
Return to Drive.

Take the last half an hour of Drive on R5. Then you might as well go with Performance on 3: Bach at Christmas on R3, 1900-2045. Have some tea then listen to Newshour on the World Service (2100-2200).


CHRISTMAS EVE ON BBC4

Charlie Brooker's Screenwipe
BBC Four; Wednesday 24th; 2200-2230
The last in the series is a review of the year.
Repeated at 0035, plus next Monday and New Year's Eve.

Crooked House
Ep.3/3
BBC Four; Wednesday 24th; 2230-2300
The final episode. Repeated later.
If you want to watch the repeat, then watch Friends now on either E4 or E4+1.
ANOTHER ARSE-END OF A CHOICE
Listen to World Today on the World Service. FILM: American Psycho
Mary Harron, 2000; 2pts
Film4; Wednesday 24th; 2255-0100
What the '80s were really like.

Note that this is billed to start five minutes before the end of Crooked House.
 Listen to most of World Today on the World Service.
The Devil's Christmas
Ep.4/4
BBC Radio 2; Thursday 25th; 0000-0018
Eccleston concludes his readings with Saki's The She-Wolf.
(consult the iPlayer)
 Father Ted
More4; Wednesday 24th; 2355-0105
A Christmassy Ted. Again...
FILM: Black Christmas
Bob Clark, 1974
Channel 4; Thursday 25th; 0020-0215
Classic santasploitation horror flick.
FILM: Swimming Pool
François Ozon, 2003
Film4; Thursday 25th; 0100-0300
Charlotte Rampling vehicle.

Note that this is billed to start five minutes before the end of Father Ted.
 CHRISTMAS DAY MORNING ON BBC4

Crooked House
Ep.3/3
BBC Four; Thursday 25th; 0105-0135
If you saw this earlier you could watch a Family Guy on BBC3 instead.

Number 13
BBC Four; Thursday 25th; 0135-0215
More MR James -penned frolics.
Repeated later.
Hammock with Jazz Britannia on B4 for want of anything better.
 Quick! Go to bed before Father Christmas gets here.
Number 13
BBC Four; Thursday 25th; 0315-0355
MR James frolic repeated from earlier, perhaps with someone gesturing in front of it if you're very very good.

CHRISTMAS DAY ON BBC7

Black Cinderella Two Goes East
BBC Radio 7; Thursday 25th; 1100-1200
Douglas Adams and John Lloyd produced, Clive Anderson and Rory McGrath penned, I'm Sorry I'll Read That Again and Peter Cook starring pantomime from Radio 4, 1978. Sure to be dreadful.

I'm Sorry I Haven't a Christmas Carol
BBC Radio 7; Thursday 25th; 1200-1300
2003's ISIHAC Christmas Special.
    
Best of Simon Mayo
BBC Radio 5 Live; Thursday 25th; 1300-1500
The best interviews of 2008. What better way to spend Christmas, I scarcely can conceive...

A CHOICE OF MATINÉE
Listen to 5 Live News. FILM: The Godless Girl
Cecil B DeMille, 1929
More4; Thursday 25th; 1510-1730
Naughty schoolgirl flick. Usually on in the middle of the night. Make the most of this afternoon scheduling.
The Movie Game
BBC Radio 5 Live; Thursday 25th; 1600-1700
Mayo and Kermode go quizzy for Christmas.
Repeated at 3am.
 Graze on 4Music for a while.
FILM: Wallace & Gromit in
The Curse of the Were-Rabbit
Nick Park & Steve Box, 2005; 2pts
BBC One; Thursday 25th; 1630-1745
Adequate feature-length Wall & Grom number. It will be on again at Easter no-doubt.
Paradise Lost: Milton Season
Ep.4/12
BBC Radio 3; Thursday 25th; 1700-1805
The Adam and Eve Christmas Special.
This is billed to finish 5 minutes after the start of Doctor Who.

(iPlay me)
Watch a bit of 4Music or cook a turkey or something.
Hammock with BBC News on BBC1.

Doctor Who
BBC One; Thursday 25th; 1800-1900
The Next Doctor. Hello to David Morrissey. Or not, as the case may be.

Doctor Who Confidential follows on BBC3 should you care.
Repeated on New Year's Day and the day after that.
Commentary on BBC7 on Monday, and on BBCi alongside Friday's showing.

  
A CHOICE
Strictly Come Dancing
BBC One; Thursday 25th; 1900-2000
This year's top three have (or rather had... they aren't really doing this on Christmas Day) more dances to squeeze in as they trot against Kelly Brook, Alesha Dixon and Jill Halfpenny for the privilege of taking home a bauble for the tree.

(I'm assuming you've seen Blackadder)
 		Blackadder's Christmas Carol
BBC Two; Thursday 25th; 1900-1950
A Merry Messy Kweznuz, again.
Get that old tin of Quality Streets condemned.

Hammock with Dad's Army on BBC2.

Wallace & Gromit:
A Matter of Loaf and Death
BBC One; Thursday 25th; 2030-2100
New new new!
Repeated on New Year's Day.
NOT A REAL CHOICE
Newshour on the World Service takes us to 2200, when for want of anything else we can listen to Alistair McGowan's 1991 Chistmas boys' magazine show: The Harpoon, on BBC7.
 IAN McKELLEN & SHAKESPEARE SEASON ON MORE4

King Lear
1/4
More4; Thursday 25th; 2100-0000
It's Christmas, which means that a certain digital channel with "4" at the end will be treating us to a healthy spread of archive culture. Once upon a time that channel would've been BBC4. Not now. This Christmas's dribbling McKelleny is brought to you courtesy of More4, starting with last year's RSC production of Lear.
Blackadder Rides Again
BBC One; Thursday 25th; 2230-2335
Boldly titled documentary marking the 25th anniversary of Black Adder.
Repeated New Year's Day.
 Stanley Baxter: Now & Then
ITV1; Thursday 25th; 2230-2330
In a bid to recapture Christmas glory, the ITV have dug up Stanley Baxter to drag up for us all. Because asking an old man to prance around in tights for an hour is considered demeaning nowadays, they've chosen to include some archive to pad things out.
Listen to the end of World Today on the World Service to take us up to midnight.
TWO ALTERNATIVES TO CONSIDER
Listen to Late Junction on Radio 3 from midnight. Listen to Late Junction on Radio 3 from midnight.
Leave ten minutes early. 		Othello
2/4
More4; Friday 26th; 0000-0300
McKellen goes minstrel in this 1989 RSC number.

(I've gone with this cos it's a rarity in comparison to the other two)
Watch Family Guy on B3, from 0105-0140 (that's five minutes before the billed end, but you've probably seen it before anyway).
 FILM: The Seventh Seal
Ingmar Bergman, 1957; 3pts
Film4; Friday 26th; 0050-0250
The film that introduced Beach Chess to the Olympics is actually quite fun and not nearly as dour as one might imagine.
FILM: Gilda
Charles Vidor, 1946
BBC Two; Friday 26th; 0140-0325
Rita Hayworth and Glenn Ford star in this classic noir.
Have some supper and then listen to The Movie Game → or go to sleep like any normal person.
 The Movie Game
BBC Radio 5 Live; Friday 26th; 0300-0400
Repeated from this afternoon.
Today
BBC Radio 4; Friday 26th; 0700-0900
Montague and Naughtie.
  
 
  Watch T4 on Channel 4 until 0955. Then watch a bit of 4Music or, ye gods, a Coast short on BBC2.

The Signalman
BBC Two; Friday 26th; 1010-1050
Denholm Elliott is forced to live it all out again. Poor sod.

(As are we... I suppose you could watch 4Music instead if you prefered...)

Get some elevenses.
The Eureka Years at Christmas
BBC Radio 4; Friday 26th; 1100-1130
Adam Hart-Davis looks at the technology behind Christmas.



As per tradition, I always allow a little space on Boxing Day for you to get out of the house and experience that terrifying thing we call "the real world". It's an ideal opportunity to walk off all those chocolates and nuts you've been piling into yourself for the last couple of days. So run along... well amble along... and we'll resume at 4 or 5pm depending on which course of action you choose...


4pm ROUTE
5pm ROUTE
FILM: Dr. Strangelove, or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb
Stanley Kubrick, 1964; 4pts
Five US; Friday 26th; 1600-1800
Peter Sellers, Peter Sellers, Slim Pickens and Peter Sellers star in Kubrick's satirical number.

Repeated tomorrow.
Paradise Lost: Milton Season
Ep.5/12
BBC Radio 3; Friday 26th; 1700-1755
Eve has a bad dream.

(iPlay)

Now listen to the Six o'Clock News on R4, then watch a probably awful Treehouse of Terror episode of The Simpsons on C4, followed by C4N.

Harry Hill's TV Burp Review of the Year
ITV1; Friday 26th; 1900-1930
Charlie Brooker for the ITV market.


Make do with an episode of My Name Is Earl on E4.

Then watch Dad's Army on BBC2, 2000-2030.
A CURIOUS DECISION
Listen to Science in Action on the World Service.
 BOXING DAY EVENING ON BBC2

The Man Who Made Eric & Ernie
BBC Two; Friday 26th; 2030-2130
Apparently that's the obvious way to think of the legendary BBC Head of Light Ents: Bill Cotton. Or so says this obitumentary which is opening an evening of classic BBC light ents. R2 will also be having a go at paying tribute: New Year's Eve and New Year's Day, 1900-2000.
Mark Kermode's Films of the Year
BBC Radio 5 Live; Friday 26th; 2100-2200
Mark Kermode's films of the year. The year in question is 2008. Beautifully scheduled against Pirates of the Caribbean. There's a repeat on New Year's Day.
Morecambe & Wise 1975 Christmas Special
BBC Two; Friday 26th; 2130-2240
The one with Diana Rigg and Des O'Connor.
 If an evening of '70s light entertainment is not for you, escape now by watching Creature Comforts on ITV2+1 until 2155.
Quickly turn to Film4 for Richard III → or listen to The World Tonight on Radio 4.
 IAN McKELLEN & SHAKESPEARE SEASON ON MORE4

FILM: Richard III
3/4
Richard Loncraine, 1995
More4; Friday 26th; 2155-0000
Richard bangs his head in Bosworth Field and wakes up in 1930s London in yet another Life on Mars rip-off.

Note that this is billed to start five minutes before the end of Kermode.
[Fed up of light entertainment? Then nip for a pee before switching to Film4 for some films that have already been on once this week.]
 The Generation Game 1973 at Christmas
BBC Two; Friday 26th; 2240-2340
Forsyth saga.

The Two Ronnies: Old-Fashioned Christmas Mystery
BBC Two; Friday 26th; 2340-0040
It is 1874 (like 1974 but with bigger sideboards) and someone has stolen the turkey.
FILM: A History of Violence
David Cronenberg, 2005; 2pts
Film4; Friday 26th; 2245-0040
This time my plot lets you watch without missing the start.
Watch 4Music or something for 40 minutes if you're not going to bed yet. If you're not watching then watch the All About My Mother ← then watch the Poker on C4 from 0020-0125.
FILM: All About My Mother
Pedro Almodóvar, 1999
Film4; Saturday 27th; 0040-0245
Almodóvar number. Repeated again in the early hours of Friday morning.
Listen to Science in Action on the World Service if you've not already done so, or else watch QI on Dave.

I'm Alan Partridge
Film4; Saturday 27th; 0200-0250
More late-night Partridge to help you on your way to mastering BSL. Do you know the sign for "A-ha!" yet?
Today
BBC Radio 4; Saturday 27th; 0700-0900
Davis and Naughtie.

  
You could do worse than stick with R4 for the rest of the morning. At noon, move to the World Service for Newshour, then go back to R4 for the News Review of the Year, or if that sounds too depressing there's always The Early Music Show on R3.


TWO DIGITAL MATINÉES

Listen to Scraps of Bacon on R4, then mooch about on 4Music for 15 minutes.
 FILM: Dr. Strangelove, or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb
Stanley Kubrick, 1964; 4pts
Five US; Saturday 27th; 1400-1600
Shown yesterday.

FILM: A Matter of Life and Death
Powell & Pressburger, 1946; 3pts
Film4; Saturday 27th; 1445-1650
Shown last Sunday.

Hammock with 4Music.

Watch either Scrooged with Bill Murray on Film4, or, from 1700, the first episode of the HBO series John Adams on C4. The latter is followed by Channel 4 News.
Depending which path you take, you'll have five or ten minutes to get some tea.

TWO REPEATS

Listen to twenty minutes of World Briefing on the World Service.
 Travels with Vasari
Ep.1/2
BBC Four; Saturday 27th; 1900-2000
Andrew Graham-Dixon goes sight-seeing with Vasari's The Lives in mitt. Repeated from earlier this month.

Porridge
BBC Two; Saturday 27th; 1920-2000
No Way Out.

Hammock with a repeat of the documentary: University Challenge: the Story So Far, on B2.
CHOOSE YOUR OWN ADVENTURE
Listen to Between the Ears on R3. Crooked House
BBC Four; Saturday 27th; 2100-2230
Omnibus edition. 		Listen to Newshour on the World Service.
Paradise Lost: Milton Season
Ep.6/12
BBC Radio 3; Saturday 27th; 2130-2230
Michael tries to explain the plot to Adam.

(iPlay)

Charming Britflickery can be found on B2 at the same time with the network premier of Starter for 10 starring James McAvoy (with the omnipresent Gatiss as Bambi). That finishes at 2300 should you be interested (and indeed should you not).
IAN McKELLEN & SHAKESPEARE SEASON ON MORE4

Macbeth
4/4
More4; Saturday 27th; 2200-0050
Trevor Nunn's saliva-filled 1979 recording starring McKellen and Dench has been on BBC4 two or three times in the past. Now you can experience it with added adverts, making it last even longer.

(If you've seen this already, and if you've been following my column for a couple of years then you should've done, then you can take a different route (i.e. RKO). If you have a video, I strongly suggest taping this and watching The RKO Story. I doubt very much that that will be available on the iPlayer.)
Listen to the first half an hour of Hear and Now (still in Huddersfield). The RKO Story
Ep.1/6
BBC Four; Saturday 27th; 2230-2330
Rerun of an acclaimed 1987 BBC doc. Each ep is followed by an RKO film. In this case it's:
The Young Ones
BBC Two; Saturday 27th; 2300-2330
Bambi closes out an evening of University Challenge related programming on BBC2.
Wow! An early night!
 FILM: King Kong
Merian C. Cooper & Ernest B. Schoedsack, 1933; 3pts
BBC Four; Saturday 27th; 2330-0110
Not the 2005 remake (that's on I2, 1805-2140, should you want to make a direct comparison) but the proper Fay Wray business.

Sleep. You've earned it.
SUNDAY ON RADIO 4

News
BBC Radio 4; Sunday 28th; 1200-1204

Genius Christmas Special
BBC Radio 4; Sunday 28th; 1204-1230
Repeated from Monday.

The Food Programme
BBC Radio 4; Sunday 28th; 1230-1300

The World This Weekend
BBC Radio 4; Sunday 28th; 1300-1330

  

Watch Joe Dante's Small Soldiers on I2, 1335-1545.
Then graze among the repeats of Goodwood Festival of Speed and Goodwood Revival on I4.
Then spend half an hour with News24 or 4Music to take us to 6pm.


AN OPTION

Listen to the News on R4, then watch it on B1.
 Doctor Who: the Commentaries
BBC Radio 7; Sunday 28th; 1800-1900
Reliant on who's doing the commentating. Simulcast with its subject, The Next Doctor, on BBC3/i on Friday.

Celebrity Mastermind
Ep.1/5
BBC One; Sunday 28th; 1830-1900
Another run of embarrassment.


Travels with Vasari
Ep.2/2
BBC Four; Sunday 28th; 1900-2000
If you didn't watch Ep1 yesterday, you could watch the repeat of James May's Top Toys on B2; or maybe an episode of Scrubs on E4+1 followed by Whatever Happened to the Likely Lads? on BBC7.

THE ILLUSION OF CHOICE

Top Gear Vietnam Special
BBC Two; Sunday 28th; 2000-2100
A two-wheeler; the last in the series. It's repeated on Tuesday.
 How to Build a Cathedral
BBC Four; Sunday 28th; 2000-2100
Repeat of a programme that scored two points when shown earlier in the year. So if I'm listing Vasari I really ought to list this too.


An episode of In Search of Medieval Britain on B4 will act as apt filler here.
Paradise Lost: Milton Season
Ep.7/12
BBC Radio 3; Sunday 28th; 2130-2215
Raphael tries to explain the plot to Adam.

The World Business News on the World Service will keep us amused while we get our supper.


MORE BLOODY REPEATS

Watch an old ep of Never Mind the Buzzcocks presented by Jeremy Clarkson, if you dare. BBC2 (2230-2300).
 The Curse of Steptoe
BBC Four; Sunday 28th; 2230-2335
Another repeat that got 2pts the first time round. Jason Isaacs and Phil Davis star. Episodes of Steptoe itself would've been preferable.

Father Ted
More4; Sunday 28th; 2305-2340-0010
The first two episodes. These two, and all the rest of the first series are on again on New Year's Eve.

The RKO Story
Ep.2/6
BBC Four; Sunday 28th; 2335-0035
Fred and Ginger occupy the lime-light, with the film Swing Time appropriately following (0035-0215).

Listen to the World Service till 0105.



FILM: Black Narcissus
Powell & Pressburger, 1946; 5pts
Film4,  Monday 29th; 0105-0310
Another visit to the unconventional convent.
MONDAY MORNING ON RADIO4

Today
BBC Radio 4,  Monday 29th; 0600-0900
Guest editor: Zadie Smith.

Start the Week
BBC Radio 4,  Monday 29th; 0900-0945
A look back at 2008 with Andrew Marr.
    
Hammock with the first installment of the Book of the Week on R4, and listen to the news headlines.


HITCHCOCK DOUBLE BILL

FILM: Suspicion
Alfred Hitchcock, 1941; 2pts
BBC Two, Monday 29th; 1005-1140
Cary Grant, Joan Fontaine and some radioactive milk star in this Hitchcock classic.

FILM: Notorious
Alfred Hitchcock, 1946; 0pts
BBC Two, Monday 29th; 1140-1320
Often described as a classic, this one is actually rather dull, thanks in part to the screen vacuum that is Ingrid bloody Bergman. Still, there's little better on.

Another dreadful mismatch of Ingrid Bergman and Alfred Hitchcock is on on New Year's Eve: Spellbound (B2, 1020-0005).

Watch Shaun the Sheep on CBBC, then take to News24. If you weren't bothered about Paradise Lost, you could watch Muppet Treasure Island on B1 (1330-1500) and then watch Oliver Twist on C4+1.

FILM: Oliver Twist
David Lean, 1948; 2pts
Channel 4, Monday 29th; 1400-1615
An exploration of probability and casting.

Listen to Drive on R5 for 45'.


Paradise Lost: Milton Season
Ep.8/12
BBC Radio 3; Monday 29th; 1700-1745
Adam discusses his wanking problem.

Return to Drive until 1830.

TAKE YOUR PICK
Just a Minute
BBC Radio 4; Monday 29th; 1830-1900
Happy to fill the breach, JAM returns with Paul Merton, Charles Collingwood, Graham Norton and Shappi Khorsandi. Repeated Sunday.
 Celebrity Mastermind
Ep.2/5
BBC One; Monday 29th; 1830-1900
More of this sort of thing.

Watch Five News.

Royal Institution Christmas Lectures 2008
Ep.1/5
Five; Monday 29th; 1915-2000
This years subject is computers in the modern age, and we begin with a look at the microprocessor. In this crazy modern world the Christmas Lectures mark a sort of scientific high-water mark of intellectual involvement on television. So make the most of them.

There's really sod all else on tonight. So this is your best opportunity in a while to get yourself down to the pub. Those of you who prefer to vegetate in the cathode glow, follow ye this:


Channel 4 News
Channel 4+1; Monday 29th; 2000-2030
Alex T slips an hour. Chilling stuff.


Watch Creature Comforts on ITV2, then listen to the first half of Newshour on the World Service.


MONDAY EVENING ON BBC4

Hughie Green: Most Sincerely
BBC Four; Monday 29th; 2130-2250
Another repeat that scored 2pts at the time. Trevor Eve plays host.

Charlie Brooker's Screenwipe
BBC Four; Monday 29th; 2250-2320
Review of the year show repeated from last week. Alternatively you can watch the last ten minutes of the repeat of Harry Hill's TV Burp Review of the Year (I1, 2230-2300), then watch most of the BBC News on B1.

The RKO Story
Ep.3/6
BBC Four; Monday 29th; 2320-0020
Women and RKO.


FILM: Bringing Up Baby
Howard Hawks, 1938; 3pts
BBC Four; Tuesday 30th; 0020-0200
Cary Grant gets another outing, this time with Katherine Hepburn and a leopard lending moral support.


Hear the first 15' of World Briefing on the World Service.


I'm Alan Partridge
Dave; Tuesday 30th; 0215-0245
More signing through the days of Christmas.
Today
BBC Radio 4; Tuesday 30th; 0600-0900
Guest edited by Cardinal Cormac Murphy-O'Connor.
  
Struggle through the morning with Victoria Derbyshire on R5. The listen to most of The Midday News.
 
  

FILM: Carry on Cowboy
Gerald Thomas, 1965; 2pts
ITV1; Tuesday 30th; 1255-1445
I over-rate this, but it's a fair western parody.


FILM: Watership Down
Martin Rosen, 1978; 5pts
Film4; Tuesday 30th; 1445-1630
Another chance to see the greatest story ever told with bunnies.

SOME KIND OF CHOICE

Wallace & Gromit:
The Wrong Trousers
BBC One; Tuesday 30th; 1630-1700
The best one. Assuming the new one isn't better.
 Have some tea.

FILM: Time Bandits
Terry Gilliam, 1981; 2pts
Film4; Tuesday 30th; 1640-1855
Another Film4 regular.
Paradise Lost: Milton Season
Ep.9/12
BBC Radio 3; Tuesday 30th; 1700-1815
Eve goes fruit-picking.
Listen to the end of Drive on R5.
THE BBC CAUSING TROUBLE
Celebrity Mastermind
Ep.3/5
BBC One; Tuesday 30th; 1900-1930
John Sessions, Andrew Neil, Bob Harris and Louise Minchin.
 Watch Five News.
Royal Institution Christmas Lectures 2008
Ep.2/5
Five; Tuesday 30th; 1915-2000
Developments in computing.
Steptoe and Son
Ep.1/13
BBC Radio 7; Tuesday 30th; 1930-2000
It was also on at 1230.

Top Gear Vietnam Special
BBC Two; Tuesday 30th; 2000-2100
Repeated from Sunday.
SOME SORT OF CHOICE
Around the World in 20 Years
BBC One; Tuesday 30th; 2100-2200
Palin vehicle, but quite a nice idea: get him to look up the crew of that boat on which he spent what seemed like most of Around the World in 80 Days. Could be half decent.
 Shooting Stars: The Inside Story
BBC Two; Tuesday 30th; 2100-2200
Harder to see what was going on in the mind of whoever pitched this: a documentary about the glorious panel-game Shooting Stars. Repeated on New Year's Day.
QI Christmas Special
BBC One; Tuesday 30th; 2200-2230
Repeated from last Monday, and on again on Friday, so absolutely no reason to watch it now, especially given what's on the other side.
 All New Shooting Stars
BBC Two; Tuesday 30th; 2200-2230
As the title says, it's a new (one-off) episode of Shooting Stars. It's repeated at the end of New Year's Day.

DISENFRANCHISED AGAIN

The Mark Steel Lecture
Ep.1/4
BBC Radio 7; Tuesday 30th; 2230-2300
Oliver Cromwell.
 The RKO Story
Ep.4/6
BBC Four; Tuesday 30th; 2235-2335
Enter Orson Welles.

You could watch The Magdalene Sisters and Hallam Foe on C4+1 if you were so minded. Or if you wanted to watch Citizen Kane you could listen first to the first half of World Today on the World Service.


FILM: Citizen Kane
Orson Welles, 1941; 5pts
BBC Four; Tuesday 30th; 2335-0135
Preceded by a reputation every bit deserved.
Today
BBC Radio 4; Wednesday 31st; 0600-0900
Today Today's guest editor is Jarvis Cocker.

  
Listen to Victoria Derbyshire on R5 until 11am, then skip back to R4 for Snow in Libya, in which Peter Snow goes to Libya (you see what they've done there?). Watch some Creature Comforts on I2+1, taking us to 1300.

NEW YEAR'S EVE AFTERNOON ON RADIO4

The World at One
BBC Radio 4; Wednesday 31st; 1300-1330

The Media Show
BBC Radio 4; Wednesday 31st; 1330-1400

The Archers
BBC Radio 4; Wednesday 31st; 1400-1415
Dip into the World Service is 15 minutes of drinking tea is more than you can cope with.

Afternoon Play:
Mr Luby's Fear of Heaven
BBC Radio 4; Wednesday 31st; 1415-1500
John Mortimer number starring Jeremy Irons.

Take refuge at Radio 5.


TO BE DETERMINED BY PAST FORM
Paradise Lost: Milton Season
Ep.10/12
BBC Radio 3; Wednesday 31st; 1700-1810
God dispatches His finest tailor to Eden.

(iPlay)
Wallace & Gromit:
A Close Shave
 BBC One; Wednesday 31st; 1705-1735
Sheep shearing fantasy.
Return to R5 for the end of Drive.
Graze on the 5 Live News Review of the Year (1800-2000), on R5, presented by Peter Allen and Anita Anand.


LIKEWISE

Celebrity Mastermind
Ep.4/5
BBC One; Wednesday 31st; 1900-1930
HEALTH WARNING: Contains Mick Hucknall and Mel Smith. Probably safer not to bother.


Royal Institution Christmas Lectures 2008
Ep.3/5
Five; Wednesday 31st; 1915-2000
The audience gets to question Bill Gates. Unfortunately the audience is made up of children and not Linux-wielding compscis or Windows victims baying for blood.

Return to R5.

Now's the time to resort to a couple of episodes of Friends on E4.

YET MORE OVER-FAMILIARITY WITH WHICH TO BREED CONTEMPT

Father Ted
More4; Wednesday 31st;
2100-2135-2205-2240-2310-2345-0015
The whole of Series 1, back to back.

If all of this is too familiar, BBC4 is repeating (naturally) In Love with Barbara, its Barbara Cartland biopic from earlier this year (2100-2225). And later tonight (2355-0025) you can see Charlie Brooker's Screenwipe - Review of the Year again again again. If you need something to hammock those two possibilities, submitting to Craggy Island is really the only true and righteous path, so take it.
 FILM: The Great Escape
John Sturges, 1964; 2pts
Virgin1; Wednesday 31st; 2100-0015
Legend (as ill founded as so many are) states that no Christmas shall pass without an airing of The Great Escape. This year there are two: it's repeated tomorrow.

FILM: Airplane!
Zucker/Abrahams/Zucker; 1980; 2pts
Channel 4; Thursday 1st; 0010-0150
So that was 2008 was it? Well welcome to 2009. I hope it is everything you want it to be. Our doormat to the future is everybody's favourite aeroplane disaster movie parody. It's billed to start five minutes before the end of the above options, so if necessary use C4+1. You can hammock to 0110 with Late Junction on R3 and the News on the World Service.
NEW YEAR'S MORNING ON RADIO4

Today
BBC Radio 4; Thursday 1st; 0600-0900
Sir Win Bischoff is guest editor.

In Our Time
BBC Radio 4; Thursday 1st; 0900-0945
Melvyn and his crew consider Boethius's The Consolations of Philosophy.
Shortened repeat tonight (2130-2200).
    


T4 on C4+1 will get you to 1120 without much pain thanks to Friends and The Simpsons. Get some lunch and then you can watch In the Night Garden... on CBeebies. At mid-day watch The Big Match Revisited on I4 for want of anything better. At 1300, The World at One is on R4, followed by a doc about puppets presented by Phil Jupitus: Talk to the Hand: the History of Puppets on TV. After that, switch to BBC1 for most of Doctor Who at the Proms (1350-1450).

Doctor Who
BBC One; Thursday 1st; 1450-1550
A repeat of The Next Doctor (there's another tomorrow). Now, given that these cyberfellows were from a parallel universe, and that we never did, in all our visits, meet a parallel Doctor there, one would assume that Morrissey is that Doctor. But I'm assuming very little. I hear tell there are more than just the two Doctors after all. And narrative continuity has scarcely been Mr Davis's strongest talent.

(If you want to avoid this having already seen it, listen to R5)
Toilet and then turn to trusty 5 Live Drive until 5pm.


Paradise Lost: Milton Season
Ep.11/12
BBC Radio 3; Thursday 1st; 1700-1800
God rules that Adam and Eve are in breach of their tenancy agreement.


A CHOICE BORN OF EXPERIENCE

Mark Kermode's Films of the Year
BBC Radio 5 Live; Thursday 1st; 1800-1900
Repeated from Boxing Day. 		FILM: The Great Escape
John Sturges, 1964; 2pts
Virgin1; Thursday 1st; 1800-2115
The POWs make a second attempt. Long tunnel, isn't it...
Watch Five News. Wallace & Gromit:
A Matter of Loaf and Death
BBC One; Thursday 1st; 1900-1930
Repeated from Christmas Day.
Royal Institution Christmas Lectures 2008
Ep.4/5
Five; Thursday 1st; 1915-2000
The internet unravels.
The Krypton Factor
ITV1; Thursday 1st; 1930-2000
A new series of everyone's favourite lightly fascistic gameshow, this time presented by somebody else (Ben Shepherd... looks vaguely familiar).
A SECOND LEVEL DECISION (OR TWO)
Celebrity Mastermind
Ep.5/5
BBC One; Thursday 1st; 2000-2030
Phil Daniels, Rick Wakeman, Ian Lavender and Tim Vine! If that lineup doesn't draw you in, nothing will.
 Three Men in More than One Boat
Ep.1/2
BBC Two; Thursday 1st; 2000-2100
A concept that is now dangerously close to overstaying its welcome, but then it's only once a year, and it's gentle enough on the mince pies. This time they're off to the Scilly Isles to do some bird-watching.
Make some tea and then watch Creature Comforts on I2 (2040-2100).
Jonathan Creek
BBC One; Thursday 1st; 2100-2300
Jonathan Creek!? Ha. There's a barrel-scraper of a Christmas Special, eh? David Renwick ran out of interesting ideas before the end of the first series, but maybe he's come up with another in the intervening time. Caroline Quentin / Julia Sawalha is played here by Sheridan Smith late of the Lager/Crisps nightmare. Desperate to escape (one hopes) she's already done time in the Tardis on BBC7, and is clearly cutting a niche as a sidekick, by accident or design.
 Hammock with The Best of Top Gear on B2.
Hammock with Room 101 on V1, then get some supper.
A TERTIARY CHOICE (AND BEYOND)
Blackadder Rides Again
BBC Two; Thursday 1st; 2200-2300
Talking-heads doc repeated from Christmas Day.		 Mark Lamarr: Shake, Rattle and Roll
BBC Radio Two; Thursday 1st; 2200-2300
'50s throwback show. Bring your own Brylcreme.
Watch BBC News on BBC1, then get some (more) supper. Shooting Stars: the Inside Story
BBC Two; Thursday 1st; 2300-0000
More repetitious introspection. This is it, you know... This is how television will be from now on. You'd think with the iPlayer there'd be no need for all this on-air repetition, but no. We've got to make our money stretch as far as possible and if that means laying the schedule out like a multiplex cinema so that more people might gaze at our wares then that's how it must be... Oh, and documentaries on and remakes of previously successful formats will be de rigueur.
FILM: Sexy Beast
 Jonathan Glazer, 2000
Film4; Thursday 1st; 2300-0045
Big Daddy v Gandhi.
The RKO Story
Ep.5/6
BBC Four; Thursday 1st; 2325-0025
The 1987 doc continues.
All New Shooting Stars
BBC Two; Friday 2nd; 0000-0030
Repeated from Tuesday.
FILM: I Walked with a Zombie
Jacques Tourneur, 1943
BBC Four; Friday 2nd; 0025-0135
RKO horror by Jacques Tourneur.
Note, this is billed to start five minutes before the end of the Shooting Stars repeat.
 If you're quick, you'll not miss much of I Walked with a Zombie ← . Or you could hammock to All About My Mother → with some of Late Junction on R3.
But for The Naked City, get to the end of Late Junction, then turn onto M4 for some episodes of The IT Crowd.
 FILM: All About My Mother
 Pedro Almodóvar, 1999
Film4; Friday 2nd; 0045-0250
Again.
Get some (more) supper. By now you may be the size of a small housing estate, but at least the turkey will have been used up.
FILM: Carrie
 Brian De Palma, 1976; 3pts
Channel 4; Friday 2nd; 0145-0330
Coming of age drama.
FILM: The Naked City
 Jules Dassin, 1948
BBC Two; Friday 2nd; 0230-0400
Documentary-style crime drama with award-winning cinematography, starring New York.
If you're quick, you can flick over to C4+1 and maybe catch the timeshift of Carrie ← .


Today
BBC Radio 4; Friday 2nd; 0600-0900
Guest editor: Zaha Hadid.
  
 Richard Bacon is standing in for Victoria Derbyshire this morning on R5, which is a good thing. Listen to most of The Midday News, then watch Carry on Screaming on ITV1. Afterwards, turn back to R5 in time for Mark Kermode's film reviews (Mayo is on holiday and Phil Williams is in his stead). Stay with R5 for the start of Drive.
  
TAKE YOUR PICK
Paradise Lost: Milton Season
Ep.12/12
BBC Radio 3; Friday 2nd; 1700-1745
Michael gets a job as a bouncer.

(iPlayer is now available in the Wilderness)



 Listen to some more of Drive.
  
Wallace & Gromit:
A Grand Day Out
 BBC One; Friday 2nd; 1735-1800
The original moon-cheese spectacular.
Return to Drive.

Return to Drive.

ANOTHER REPEAT TO NEGOTIATE

At 1900, watch Five News (or the start of C4N if you prefer).
 Doctor Who
BBC Three; Friday 2nd; 1900-2000
Another chance to see The Next Doctor. The Doctor Who Commentary is available on pain of the red button. Alternatively, on B4, Prof. Jim Al Khalili trawls the BBC science archive to tell the story of The Big Bang.

Royal Institution Christmas Lectures 2008
Ep.5/5
Five; Friday 2nd; 1915-2000
A.I.


Hammock with Doctor Who Confidential on B3.

DEPENDS IF YOU LIKE PROG

Around the World in 80 Faiths
BBC Two; Friday 2nd; 2100-2200
Rev. Peter Owen Jones sets out to explore the practices of the minor religions. This is the first of eight episodes, so one must expect a rate of ten creeds an hour, or one sect every six minutes.
 Prog at the BBC
BBC Four; Friday 2nd; 2100-2200
Here starteth the Prog Rock at the BBC season, with a compendium of progressive rock performances in BBC studios.

REPETITION ON BBC2

QI Christmas Special
BBC Two; Friday 2nd; 2200-2230
Because it's not everyone can use the iPlayer.

Rab C Nesbitt
BBC Two; Friday 2nd; 2230-2315
The C probably does not stand for Christmas. Or Comedy.
 Prog Rock Britannia -
an Observation in Three Movements
BBC Four; Friday 2nd; 2200-2330
The "Britannia" strand ticks off another genre.

(Having already sat through Rab once, I think it's best we escape here for the last hour; alas, the last hour is probably also the worst.)

To stick with this strand, one must really watch a repeat of the Christmas episode of Mock the Week.

The RKO Story
Ep.6/6
BBC Four; Friday 2nd; 2330-0035
Howard Hughes buys RKO.

Charlie Brooker's Screenwipe -
Review of the Year
BBC Two; Friday 2nd; 2345-0015
A repeat for non-digital eyes.

Dave's showing some Never Mind the Buzzcocks which should make adequate pasture.


FILM: Build My Gallows High
a.k.a. Out of the Past
 Jacques Tourneur, 1947; 1pt
BBC Four; Saturday 3rd; 0035-0210
Robert Mitchum noir classic.

FILM: The Stranger
 Orson Welles, 1946; 2pts
BBC Two; Saturday 3rd; 0215-0345
Edward G Robinson stars in this Welles thriller with a clock at the end. Appropriate really, as time now calls out the end of this Christmas Box for yet another year. I'll be back with the 2008 summary "today", with a bit of luck, and who knows what excitement 2009 holds. See you there...

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