| This year sees a tweak in the
voting process: there are now so many nations voting that from now on,
to save time, the votes for 1-7pts positions are added to the
scoreboard in a single block, with only the top three places being
delivered by the national spokesperson. In what appears to be a practice run for their amazing 2009 entry, Ukraine give us the feisty, short-skirted Tina Karol, surrounded by Cossacks (who at half-time get out a skipping rope before having a go at being whirling dervishes). It's a skittish Latin-inflected piece of sexy rhythmic fun. A drop-out near the end, with Karol sustaining a long wail, could've been one of the greatest key-changes in Eurovision history had it bothered to change key. Turkey's entry this year is a slick piece of funky disco entitled "Süper Star" and possessed of a rather fine chorus. Its highlight is a rather spiffing talky-bit in the middle. "S-s-s-sex!" says Melinda Messenger look-alike Severina, representing Croatia. At one point near the end she takes off her skirt (which is sooo 1981). She is surrounded by men in national costume as she sings about her high heel. It's a stomping, rhythmic little thing - very percussive - and keeps threatening to break into the Portuguese entry from this time last decade. The refrain goes "Ojda da, ojda daj, ojda daj daj" which is pleasingly old-school. Speaking of school... a chorus of Eliza Doolittle -vowelled naughty schoolgirls introduce the UK entry from a-perch their desks. Police sirens in the background alert us to the probability of an approaching felon, and here he is, hiding behind the blackboard. Yes, it's Daz Samspon, a sort of cross between Mark Radcliffe, John Barnes and a 40-something Polish builder. He's amazing: his stationary feet a feat to admire. The template for this performance is, one assumes, something along the lines of The Streets. But it is one part Streets to three parts Grange Hill to eight parts Changing Rooms: the juxtaposition of local handyman and mature school-girl chorus (impressively deployed throughout) is jaw-droppingly entertaining. It makes one oddly proud that such a thing could win A Song for Europe. "Vote for the music", says Daz at the end, alert to the politics of recent years. Well, we'll take the performance into consideration too, Daz, but even then we've ended up giving the UK our 12pts, and for the second year running, too. An odd spell of form for the UK, which can mean only one thing: Hell has frozen over! It's been coming for many years (44 in fact) and now it's arrived: a Finnish victory! We knew that when it happened it would be in style (they won with a record haul of 292 points). Their entry draws to a certain extent on the winning example of Ruslana two years ago, albeit cubed. The title of the piece is "Hard Rock Hallelujah" although the performance owes little to the Israeli classic. It marks the effective debut of metal to Eurovision, delivered with a Strepsil-craving growl. Oh, and the band, Lordi, are dressed as monsters (a subtle but important detail). Despite being covered in latex boils and little horns, our lead singer looks an awful lot like Roy Wood, and the novelty Finnish hat is a lovely touch to the costume. All of the band look pretty rough, most amusingly the keyboardist: she looks rather hopeless and pathetic, and has evidently fought against her illness with such bravery. As we embrace "the day of Rockening", it becomes apparent that beyond all the costumes and face-paints (and knees of glowing embers), this is actually quite a good song. And then Roy opens his bat-like wings and from that point on their victory seems beyond question. Lordi are the Bucks Fizz of the 2000s; in fifteen years there'll still be bad-skinned entries opening up their wings, just as there's still the likes of Croatia tearing off their skirts. For each year's songs we apply our points in the 12-10-8 style of the modern contest, irrespective of how the voting functioned at the time. In brackets is the position the song came on the night:
Europe had Bosnia & Herzegovina third, Romania fourth, Ireland tenth, Macedonia joint-twelfth, Germany and Norway joint-14th, Latvia and Switzerland joint-16th, Denmark 18th, Moldova 20th, Spain 21st, France 22nd, Israel 23rd and Malta 24th. |
 The winner: Finland's answer to Roy Wood.  Daz Sampson comes to fix Javine's boiler.  Ukraine continue to carve a niche in our hearts.  Turkey esi Superstar! Sibel holds onto a dancer.  Severina serenades the Croatian troops.
To see our original thoughts, recorded on the night of the contest, click here. |
