| To date the only Eurovision Song
Contest to come from Yorkshire. After three pretty decent years we were
in for a comparatively forgettable time. Germany were Europe's winners for the first time in... well... ever. It took them a while, and it wasn't the best song they've ever had (despite being written by Ralph Siegel). A woman with 1910s hair strumming on a guitar, with some "Rivers of Babylon"-ish ooh-oohing in the background. It's one of the schlageriest things the world has ever heard. Austria went super-twee, and look like Robert Webb guesting in a Smack the Pony sketch. If you close your eyes it's actually not a bad song. Spain on the other hand dipped back into their flamencoist past. With a stronger singer their entry could've been really quite good. As it is it's a bit half-baked. And the dancer's beard seems to be drawn on in marker-pen. Turkey's entry sounds like a glossy '80s game-show theme, and abounds in mini-skirted backing-vocalists. It's a neat enough disco-funk dance tune but by no means a classic. The other reliable extra-European nation, Israel, were a little more on form with a cracking routine and a song that sounds a bit like a dry run for next year's entry (but more of that next year). It's a good, tight, up-beat song, with some nice fiddle playing, a clappy section and a general Jewish folk-music thing going on underneath. Ireland make a rare appearance near the top of our voting thanks to a mildly funky disco-pop late-Motown-ish girl-band number (well one of them's a boy, but let's not worry about that). Portugal also went with a girl-band, and from the moment Doce (that's their name) appear, it is clear we are in for some sort of treat, dressed as they are in spangly black and white musketeer outfits. They then move forwards, one by one (there's four of them) in silence, and one can't help but wonder if this will be some sort of Cage tribute: 3'00" maybe. But then a martial drum beats out a rhythm and the girls start bobbing about. An Ottawan riff plays and they go "Hey". It's an oddly sluggish performance, kind of like they're drunk. But the latex space highwayman look carries them and it's a pretty good tune. It's title is "Bem bom", which is actually not nonsense but the Portuguese for "Very good" (something 1982 wasn't, though it was by no means very bad). For each year's songs we apply our points in the 12-10-8 style of the modern contest, irrespective of how the voting functioned at the time. In brackets is the position the song came on the night:
Europe, as already mentioned, gave the win to Germany for the first time ever, with Switzerland third, Luxembourg sixth, the UK seventh, Sweden eighth, Norway twelfth, Denmark 17th, and Finland last (nul points).
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 Jan Leeming is our robot host.  Europe's winner, Germany's Nicole.  The Austrian act, Mess.  Turkey's Neco.  Israel's Avi Toledano.  Portugal get our 12pts for the third year running. |
